First Mother's Day

Today is my first Mother’s Day. So far, it’s been nice. I’m writing you at about 10:50 AM and that means that I’m sitting in Randy’s office during second service. Randy is teaching children’s church and Lauren is upstairs sleeping. Normally, I would go up and get my little one but I’m taking this time to sit quietly and reflect on this day. That means that I’ve got real free time until about 11:15. The time passes so quickly.
I’ve been thinking about my mom and what she did for me. My mom, for those of you who don’t know, is mentally Ill and has been so since my high school year. We don’t know what is ailing her. She started out with manic depression and it’s mutated into anxiety and some other mystery problem.
Since high school, I’ve always been frustrated by her irresponsibility. Its easy to see all her faults and obvious errors she made raising me and my siblings. However, I thought today about the good things mom did teach us, or at least what I took away from her life.
Mom always put us first above herself. She would be the last person to receive. She would praise our odd art work when we were little. I wonder how many ponies I drew that she never recognized to be equestrian in nature. I remember sitting in front of the mirror when I was in 6th grade feeling insecure about my looks and my mom told me that I was very pretty. How unfortunate that I did not listen to her then. Mom encouraged me to cook. She showed me how to take care of a home and taught me to be independent.
Despite my mom’s handicaps, she is a free spirit. She likes to do it her way and she has lots of good, creative ideas. Mom is an artist who never recognized her own wonderful talent. She is a skilled bead worker and designs jewelry. I’ve always wished she’d start selling her work more but she never charges enough. Mom does it purely for the joy of the craft….something that is lost these days in our country because it’s been shipped oversees or mass produced.
I love my mom and have learned that mom is always herself. It took me a long time to just accept that fact. But now that I have, I see her real beauty. I love you mom.